Things I Wish I Could Say

(aka Things I Wish You Understood) (aka Things I Wish I Understood).

I am emotional. I have emotional to reactions to events. You may not always like these, but it is what it is.

In the past I was abused, this is not a defect. It is an influence on who I’ve become and how I react. Sometimes.  If it’s unclear, feel free to ask.

I am not broken. I am not defective. Mainly, I am a person with a past, like you, and that past affects me sometimes.

And lastly, I know you think about it, there is more than one person in my head, or however you want to look at it. Accept it, deal with and learn about it!

Just some thoughts for someone close to me. I know, I’m as tired as anyone, of going over the same topics repeatedly.

I am still at the point of anger and sadness regarding my recovery. I cried last night wishing I didn’t have to go through this. Feeling sorry for myself, I guess. And then I felt stern, repeating to myself that who I am is okay- I am not broken, defective or wrong. And then I felt like shouting at the person nearest to me all these things. Instead I wrote this open letter. But, I realize it is more for myself than anyone.

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1 Comment

Filed under emotions, life

One response to “Things I Wish I Could Say

  1. hello learning to say yes,

    I’m just a random hit on your blog but I am glad I took thetime to ead some of your entries…

    I do not know you and I am no expert but I do know this. You seem to have the capacity for love and yet feel unworthy, perhaps or even tainted because of your past experiences.

    what a grand gift you offer, that of the expression of the sentiment. If we carry that in our souls, who can be against us? not even ourselves…

    I am wishing you the best 2008 can offer…

    much peace, learning to say yes… say it loud and often, you won’t regret it.

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