I have been prey

I was listening to Mojo Mom podcast archives yesterday. It was a show about Internet Safety. The guest, Linda Criddle, mentioned that men will prey on insecure women and that got me thinking about myself. And I realized: I have been prey.

Most recently was only a few years ago. Things were rough at home. I met someone who UNDERSTOOD me. He sympathized. He told me about his struggles. He had once been involved with someone who was multiple. He never made any romantic overtures. And then he asked for _very_ revealing pictures. I might have if I hadn’t been in hatred of my body right then, and not willing to share my most private parts. I stopped messaging him so I wouldn’t have to say no, and he stopped messaging me so he wouldn’t have to hear no.

I want to justify this by saying I don’t think he even knows he’s preying. But I think that’s just me not wanting to rock the boat. In case he finds this.

It wasn’t the first time. Online, we are free to say things we wouldn’t say otherwise. Often, we (people in general and asrais in particular) wear our vulnerabilities on our sleeves. If we can’t see you, the rejection doesn’t hurt so much. Or else, the person on the other end is as damaged as we are and can sympathize. But, predators they zero in on these vulnerabilities, they UNDERSTAND what you are going through. They pat your hand and tell you deserve better. And then they sneak in requests for revealing photoes, or phone sex or whatever.

I’ve had guys tell me that I love them. And then, because of course, they know me better than I know me, I say “why yes, I do love you.” Or I talk myself into loving them. Or, whatever version this predator uses.

That’s scary for me. I didn’t have the money, but had I have I might have visited some of these guys. I might have done very stupid things for these guys.

That was a big awareness reality check for me. Predators don’t only prey on teen girls. They go after of age girls who are on their own, hungry for love and can travel without mommy and daddy’s permission.

This realization will be welcome information once my daughter is of age to instant message, have a facebook account and whatever else is going on in 8 years time.

For more on internet safety go to: Linda Criddle’s website Look Both Ways

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