I came across this article which links to this article, both of which are talking about why large family sizes are attaianable if you stop buying expensive toys, like TVS and McMansions. And the second article in particular focuses on why Large families are better.
The first article says that I have (heaven forbid) disagree with either article, I have some personal problems.
Holy hell, what a load of crap. These two articles are based on OLD stereotypes of small families and only children. That only children are spoiled, self-centered and can’t relate to their peers properly.
My daughter is 5. She’s an only. She’s an only by choice. Now that she’s only 5, does not mean she’ll always be an only. We are considering adoption.
The first article is a rehashing of the first, I’ll mainly ignore that. Except the very last paragraph of the first reads:
Once again, I could go on and on and on about the advantages of having a large family, not just to myself and the children, but to society at large. But as VA rightly notes, it’s all a matter of priorities. One thing that cannot be denied is that we now live in a debased culture full of self-absorbed, self-indulgent people. And I’m willing to wager that the vast majority of this culture of self-absorption and self-indulgence are the product of small, not large families. Any takers?
My priorities with having one child is not because I want to work full time, or that I’m too self-absorbed to give up my TOYS. We have one because that’s all we feel we have the energy for. I’m not the best mother in the world. I don’t have the energy to deal with going through another infant and toddler and finally school age. I don’t believe in putting children into daycare, and you can call me selfish for this I guess, but I don’t have another 5 years to stay at home.
I love my one child a lot. ANd I want to give a home to another. But the toddler years nearly killed me. Maybe I am selfish and self-indulgent.
The other reason we are only have one or two is so that we can send them to higher education, with little to no debt. It’s hard enough to graduate college and try to get out in the world, but to graduate with the debt loads that people have nowdays, I don’t see how they can start a family or buy a house within a reasonable amount of time.
So onto Vanishing America’s post on large families. I won’t even touch the environmental reasons for having smaller families or that people from 3rd world countries are having large numbers of children at public expense.
The children of large families are given more responsibility, usually through necessity, and they have to pull their weight and do their part. This encourages a work ethic and a mature attitude at an earlier age, as well as giving them confidence in what they can do.
I’m not going to skimp on giving my child chores because she’s an only. Only children are often more mature and driven to succeed, like first borns, becuase they have heavier parental expectation. Only children are often more mature, becuase the majority of their interaction is with adults. You can read more about birth order here: MSN Career Builder.
You learn to interact with peers through interacting with your sisters and brothers.
My daughter went to playschool and now she’s in Kindergarten. She’s not the most adept at conflict and she is rather shy. But I really don’t like have more siblings is likely to change that part of her. She’s very sensitive.
She’s learning to negotiate with friends who come over to play. But I see the same habits and self-centeredness from her friends that I see from her, whether they come from large families or small ones. She’s also becoming fairly agressive on the soccer field, in her 4th season of play.
Having many siblings tends to teach us not to be as materialistic, because resources are spread rather thinner in large families, and we learn to have regard for others and their wants and needs as well as our own.
Due to the pervasiveness of advertising geared at young children and that we don’t have much room in our house, we are teaching her to to want less. The more toys she has the more time she has to spend cleaning them up, she’s finding out. In the next few years she’s going to get an allowance and start to buy her own things and she can find out the value of what she buys. We have enough to buy her all she could want, if we wanted to stay in debt forever.
Likewise, the leftist-feminist agenda has created a need for more day-care centers and has led to a tendency to put toddlers in ‘pre-schools’ at earlier ages, in the care of the school system.
Not really. Real feminists want to give women THE CHOICE. Some women want to stay home and raise their children, and that’s just fine. Some women, like me, want to raise their children and have a satisfying career. And some women want to work full time and never have children. What’s right for one woman is NOT right for all women. I know single moms who are work their asses off to provide a decent standard of living for their child(ren) and would not be able to if not for daycares. Their families help some, but in this day, many grandparents are too old, still working or live too far away to help out.
People in a society with mostly small families and a weakened family unit are often people with few close ties, people who are rootless and disconnected and more prone to alienation and anomie
Well I agree that as a society we are disconnected. But I think in overly large families this is a problem as well. Gabor Mate has written a wonderful book on this subject. Hold Onto Your Kids, which details how children have lost their connection with a strong adult role model, why that connection is important and how you can foster it in your children. But, I don’t think it’s symptomatic of small families. It’s systematic of people having children they cannot care for.
If you’re a conservative, who can afford and choose to have one parent stay at home and look after the children, good for you. There are thousands of woman who don’t have the same options that you have in life. They didn’t get a decent education. Thanks to abstinence only education they didn’t true facts about preventing pregnancy in society that tells girls, show US how sexy YOU are.
In the end, if you choose to have a large family and can support it, GOOD FOR YOU. Don’t tell me my choice is wrong, because it’s not the same you would make.