Feeling Sexual

That feeling in my pussy, the I gotta get off feeling it is …

-the sway of my hips

– dark, deep red

– voluptuous, dressed in curve hugging gown, with an outrageous red feather boa and pearls and diamonds

– hot tongues curled around each other

– legs wrapped around a waist

– long, deep, slow, fast and hard

– insatiable, urgent

– sexy, beautiful, scared

– hard and soft come together, bodies entwined

– pain and pleasure

– fear and excitement, hurt and healing

– craving, desired

– sacred, holy divine

In there I am the Goddess.

It isn’t: love, war, peace, torture, power, a commodity, you may not possess me. It is not a right a reward or YOURS.

As I sit here writing this I am saddened to think that many are held prisoner by it, hurt because of what someone else believes it represents. Everyone wants it, or believes they need to achieve it- penetrating or being penetrated. We sell our lives, our souls, our hopes and dreams, our sacredness for it, but only because we do not understand.

When was the last time you felt sexual without achieving orgasm in some way? Have you ever been told, thought, felt that it is OKAY to feel sexual without seeking orgasm?

It’s taken me months since I read the idea to believe it. My body is taught with desire, and I may or may not seek orgasm.

In the end it’s not orgasm we(people in general, not asrai as a whole) seek, but power. That we have someone to do this to, that we are desirable enough to make another person come, that they like us enough to make us come.

It’s often preoccupying our thoughts. But, we rarely acknowledge it outright, at least not in “polite” company. So much so that we fear mentioning to the concept to children that they would turn into fiends, with desires to do nothing but have sex. We fear it of ourselves, because no one has told us it’s okay to feel sexual without acting on it with another person. Few of us have been told it’s okay to act our sexual feelings with ourselves, if acting with another person is not appropriate. In fact, many of us feel our secret desires and fantasies are shameful, that we should only desire male-female penetrative sex in the context of marriage and only the male should enjoy it then, a good girl would never actively seek out sex.

It is these stereotypes, this shame and lies that perpetuate abuse of sex. We are taught to fight, deny and dislike any sexual urge, don’t discuss it, don’t discuss what you like, how you like. TAKE what you can get.

What is sexual enlightenment?

I don’t know, but I’m on the journey to find out. It’s kinda like a sacred personal journey.

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1 Comment

Filed under culture, emotions, life, My Sexual Muses, sex positive

One response to “Feeling Sexual

  1. I often feel like experiencing something sexual just for it – and not to get anywhere, I just love the feeling, the experience, the thoughts, the movements, and how everything else just seems to slow down.

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