Thanks to this Venn diagram found via Ditchwalk, I know I’m a dork. Perhaps I’m a nerd, but I’m unsure of my intelligence. I am moderatly smart. I have no idea what my IQ is. I never do well on those IQ tests online becuase I get frantic about math. I’m good at math, I just get panicked under pressure.
Anyway, I have the social inadequcies to label me dork or nerd as opposed to geek. When I have conversations I tend to talk about myself more than I ask questions. I often have no idea what to say so I lapse into silence. The things I do say are often unclear and I get embarassed and annoyed.
Right now I’m in an online conversation about writers and I asked if people wrote fiction or non? Everyone takes that to mean professionally. I kind of assumed we were all amaturs. *sigh* Makes me want to stop partcipating all together.
I worry about saying the wrong thing so I don’t say anything.
Which is why I fail as a blogger. No one cares what I think. I fail at connecting with people.
Why do I keep going? Because I love writing. And I have hope that someday I will have a small following and people will buy my writing en mass.
I had some hope yesterday while I was checking my email I got an email from problogger which had a link at the bottom to a relevant old post. Do You Feel like you don’t belong as a blogger? [I do] This paragraph at the end was particularly relevant to me:
Sometimes as more established bloggers those of us who have been around for a while come off as being more polished and qualified than we really are. The reality is that most of us are pretty normal and ordinary people.
So, maybe we all have self-doubts and feel out of place. We just don’t broadcast them. I guess the lack of followership is what makes lesser bloggers quit after a short time and those who persevere through the lack of followership win in the long run.