Where I am is a good place

My mom and I took the kidlets to the water park yesterday. And we were talking about people and spending money on silly things like Gel Nails. If that’s your thing, I apologize, or well I don’t care, personal appearance means little me.

I confessed I have zero items of make-up. that’s not true, I do have some eyeshadow, eyeliner and lipstick that I never wear and is probably old enough to need to be thrown out. I cannot manage to care about wearing make-up. If you don’t like my face without it then too freaking bad quite frankly.

I don’t want to tell you how long my leg hair is. Except for the small patch where I started waxing … last week.

Anyway, my Mom then asked if I spend money on myself.

Not really, I reply. I got my Kobo eReader this year. Last year, I got the Wii Fit and Balance Board. I do spend a little on myself from time to time but over all no, I don’t spend much on myself. My husband likes to buy movies and he smokes. It’s an unfair balance. But, I like to worry about saving our money so we can move up the financial ladder. That makes me happy. Spending $6 a month on movies makes him happy. And he isn’t ready to quite smoking, I’m ready, but he’s not so I’m not going there. He smokes outside. He doesn’t share a bed with the baby.

My mom then tells me when I was growing up she never spent money on herself because they didn’t have any. Which isn’t really true. It was very unstable, non-secure money. My dad is not a saver. He isn’t deeply in debt but he’s always a little in debt. That’s none of my business so I don’t go there.

But it drove my mother crazy. She hated not having savings, hated scrimping, hated how he’d spent what he felt like.

She resented it and him. She was miserable because neither of them could compromise.

I’m not miserable. I accept that my husband needs to spend a certain amount to feel satisfied. It’s not really that much and we both agree not to go into debt for consumer goods. We make very little money but manage to stretch it A LONG ways. While he was unemployed and I was working 70% we managed to pay off $5000 including a new furnace.

Anyway, I don’t need to buy a lot of stuff for myself. I’m happy getting my books from the library, using scraps for sewing, making all of our meals, using my leftover yarn, and buying used for most of our consumer goods.

Right now I’m waiting for an email from a person selling a front load washer and dryer for dirt cheap. My washing machine isn’t wringing all the water out of it. It’s nearly 8 years old, not the best lifespan and I could probably get it fixed.

Anyway, what more do I need in life? I have a computer, internet access, a vehicle of my own, my eReader and mp3 player, TV, 2 video game systems … the list goes on and on and on. I’m pretty fucking blessed. I have enough money for food and shelter and savings. I went to school part time for like five years and I got to stay home with my daughter for ages and will with my son (we don’t trust other people). If I have anything to complain about it’s First World Problems.

In addition to being an author, my dream job is playschool teacher. When I was in high school I did a work experience day at a playschool and I was pretty sure it was worst job ever. But, now that I’ve pretty much done it, I want to do it again and again. I want to create the lessons and teach them and see the children enjoying learning.

I don’t want to teach elementary school or high school or anything else. Just playschool. It’s awesome.

And if anyone has a good podcast catcher, let me know. Ziepod won’t work, I don’t know why. I’ve uninstalled, reinstalled. I don’t like iTunes, but I’ve resorted to it because EVERY OTHER thing I’ve tried gpodder, juice and something else, won’t let me add feeds.

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1 Comment

Filed under Coming Alive, culture, emotions, happiness, life, mood, personal, power, rants

One response to “Where I am is a good place

  1. I use iTunes because I have an iPhone, but I’m not 100% happy with it…doesn’t Google Reader handle podcast feeds?


    I feel very blessed for all that’s in my life…even though it’s not much, it’s quite a bit.

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