Ah, I ran across another porn is bad article on The Good Men Project.
In case you missed my last rantings you can find them here and here.
This one has studies. Rat studies.
Consider what happens when you drop a male rat into a cage with a receptive female rat. First, there’s a sexual frenzy. Half a dozen copulations later, the fireworks fizzle. Even if she wants more, he’s not interested. His brain chemistry whispers, “Roll over and snore.” However, if a new female shows up, his exhaustion will miraculously fade long enough for him to gallantly attempt his fertilization duties. You can repeat this process with fresh females until the male nearly dies of exhaustion.
My first thought was, god, how do men walk down the street everyday and not jump on every woman they see that’s gorgeous?
Oh right, we expect human men to control themselves. Same with porn.
Which brings me to my first point, just because a group of men who use porn end up with marriage/sexual issues, does not mean ALL men who watch porn will. Or, if John Mayer would rather jerk-off to a picture it does not mean my husband will.
In a Playboy interview last year, musician John Mayer admitted he’d rather jerk off to images than have sex. He explained,
actually if you read the quote Mayer didn’t say that at all, what he said was,
Internet pornography has absolutely changed my generation’s expectations. How could you be constantly synthesizing an orgasm [with a person] based on dozens of shots? You’re looking for the one … out of 100 you swear is going to be the one you finish to, and you still don’t finish. Twenty seconds ago you thought that photo was the hottest thing you ever saw, but you throw it back and continue your shot hunt and continue to make yourself late for work. How does that not affect the psychology of having a relationship with somebody? It’s got to.
Okay, I’m not disagreeing that porn use CAN be a problem. It can be harmful if you get to the point of compulsion. But, reasonable people don’t. Of course, we could argue about the lack of reasonable people RE: food addiction.
Or really, it’s people refuse to use their self-control. i like chip and sugar. I don’t like walking in the winter. I know it’s not healthy for me to weight 200 lbs, so I don’t buy the chips and I walk to school. I keep my weight healthy.
Do I like it? Not always, I’d rather have the chips right now. But, I don’t think I”d be happy 75 lbs overweight either, so I CONTROL myself.
Just like, right now i’d like to masturbate. But I’m not alone, so I control myself.
Maybe these guys with porn problems actually are married to frigid women. Just kidding.
According to a 2007 study, mere exposure to images of sexy females causes a man to devalue his real-life partner. He rates her lower not only on attractiveness, but also on warmth and intelligence. Also, after pornography consumption, subjects in a 2006 study reported less satisfaction with their intimate partner—including the partner’s affection, appearance, sexual curiosity, and performance. Moreover, they assigned increased importance to sex without emotional involvement.
Again how to men live in the real world with crap like this going on in their brains?
Oh yeah, they don’t. What a load of crap. (men if you want to not get in trouble for being an asshole- you can cite the study).
Just because I think GSP is sexy does not mean I want my husband any less.
Of course, if you stand me next to Katy Perry, she’s going to get all the votes for being better looking.
And, of course, he probably sees a few good-looking women when he’s at work. (some ugly ones too), but he makes the choice to come home and have pretty great sex with me.
And in three days when he’s in the mood and I’m completely wiped from having a screaming baby crawl up my leg all day, he will turn on a porno and touch himself. But, two days later I’ll have caught up on sleep and we’ll be like rabbits.
Porn is the only addiction in which we blame the object of addiction. We don’t blame alcohol for forcing alcoholics. We expect people to be able to have the occasional drink without ruining their marriages. We don’t blame malls for people’s overspending.
And my last point, is people it’s FANTASY. I don’t read romance books and expect my husband to start being a billionaire with a perfect body and a ranch, nor do I feel any less connected because he`s not a CEO or cowboy or Navy SEAL. Our being together is a choice we make everyday. It`s not always an easy choice, but if he wants to watch some people going at it, I`ll be okay with it. (I wasn`t always I used to buy into the myth that he should only ever want me).
Again, people TRY to control yourselves.
But remember, you don’t need porn to ogle women.
Since I stopped masturbating to porn a couple of weeks ago, things are changing. When I see a woman with long hair walk by in a nice skirt or dress, I get that physical rush of energy. Used to be I needed a stronger pornographic fantasy from the Internet to get any type of arousal.